ShopDreamUp AI ArtDreamUp
Deviation Actions
Literature Text
On the border of dreams terror is born unto me
As voices whisper "darkness consumes all"
Burning his image upon the wall having no form or shape
His ire I hope to anticipate
His song is kind but turns sour within the mind
Rasping harshly against the bone
The wake of his song births a chill in the air
Which I soon come to despair
I awake from slumber
With only dreams to remember
But remember I do
The feeling that rent my soul in two
As voices whisper "darkness consumes all"
Burning his image upon the wall having no form or shape
His ire I hope to anticipate
His song is kind but turns sour within the mind
Rasping harshly against the bone
The wake of his song births a chill in the air
Which I soon come to despair
I awake from slumber
With only dreams to remember
But remember I do
The feeling that rent my soul in two
Suggested Collections
Featured in Groups
This is an entry for a contest being hosted by Live-Love-Write's August Tournament
The prompt was to describe a terrifying event.
This is about a really, really creep-tacular dream I had. That scared the shit out of me. I mean who wouldn't wake up as chills tore through your entire body because a strange dark shape yelled at you.
Did I get the theme across? Is the flow a bit jarring? And how's my vocabulary?
Written 8/22/13
The prompt was to describe a terrifying event.
This is about a really, really creep-tacular dream I had. That scared the shit out of me. I mean who wouldn't wake up as chills tore through your entire body because a strange dark shape yelled at you.
Did I get the theme across? Is the flow a bit jarring? And how's my vocabulary?
Written 8/22/13
© 2013 - 2024 Zire-7
Comments30
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
I had trouble clearly discerning a theme as well. You're describing a nightmare, but what is the ultimate takeaway? Does the fear follow you through the day? Should the reader be afraid of your nightmare?
Flow needs more awareness of meter. If you're going to rhyme I think a fixed form is a much better starting point even if it is just a string of couplets?
Vocabulary is refreshingly not overwrought.
Flow needs more awareness of meter. If you're going to rhyme I think a fixed form is a much better starting point even if it is just a string of couplets?
Vocabulary is refreshingly not overwrought.